By Kirby, on July 27th, 2010
Many hours of my internet life have been wasted on sites I like to refer to as “Wow, I will never have any use for any of these items but I simply must have it all or else I will die!!” sites, The Cheeky is my current fave of that genre which I first discovered when I somehow came across this $4000 piggy bank made of a REAL taxidermied piglet?!!?! Amazement, intrigue, disgust, wonder, desire, so many emotions.
What I would like to bring to your attention today though however is slightly less gross but equally as sinister. Don’t you just hate when you step off the plane all bleary-eyed and achy and you’re waiting for your bag to come out and you’re watching the same black cases go round and round and round while trying to remember what yours even looks like? Well fear not! These dudes have got your back with large stickers that you can stick to the side of your luggage making them all the more easy to identify on the carousel. Great idea you’d think, oh I’m sorry did I mention these stickers feature drugs, sex toys, wads of cash and a tied up air hostess? Yeah…
 
 
“…they will draw attention to your bag making it easily identifiable and sure to make you some new friends.”
Yes The Cheeky, they will draw much attention, mainly from already uppity airport security and these “new friends” you’ll be making will most likely take the form of a rubber glove and some lube. As clever and kinda hilarious as these suitcase stickers are we all know airport security staff wherever you go aren’t exactly well known for their GSOH, the customs desk is not the best place for showcasing your scathing wit and unflappable comedic timing, but then again if detainment and cavity searches are “your thing” then you can buy them for only $15 each at TheCheeky.com.
Also check out another personal fave useless accesory from The Cheeky, Hickytats – stencils in order to leave a cute little possesive message or print (including a vampire bite one for all you wannabe fangbangers) on your lover rather than an icky shapeless bruise. I’m not entirely convinced that this would work very well but ok, if you say so.
By Kirby, on July 24th, 2010
Yeah yeah I know, not posted in months, blah blah. Sorry but I’ve been pretty preoccupied with my inevitable emotional breakdown as a result of my quarter-centenary which is fast approaching in precisely a month *gulp*, but we’ll get to that soon in a charming retrospect of all the dreams I conjured up in my ignorant youth which I am still yet to fulfil, delightful.
To break the deafening radio silence I thought I’d ease you and myself back in with something a bit more light-hearted than my impending quarter-life crisis, with a website of the week/few minutes at least. Everyone’s a writer these days, well let’s see what you’re worth kid, copy and paste a sample of your writing onto the I Write Like site and it will crunch out a super-scientific and no doubt incredibly accurate analysis of which successful author your writing style is like. An excellent tool for at least 10 minutes of internet based procrastination, so give it a go and let us know who you got.
I must say, I was altogether disappointed to discover that I apparently write like Cory Doctorow. Now forgive my philistinism but never heard of you bruh (I mean it’s not like I’ve got an English Lit degree or anything…oh, WAIT, so I do. Ru-roh!) I’ll check him out though, downloading Little Brother onto my phone as we speak.
With me being a) a crazy who trolls my friend’s blogs (partly because they’re all pretty funny but mostly because I’m nosey) and b) intrigued as to what other writers would come up, I copied and pasted some entries from a few of my friends’s blogs to see if was acquainted with any potential Pulitzer prizers. And the results are in:
Jen (which I’m sure she’d be pretty stoked on being a big old history nerd) is seemingly James Joyce reincarnated.
My favourite (/the only?) contender for Miss Ghana Australia, Kayta’s writing style is apparently akin to that of Stephen King (lolz).
And I’m most insanely jealous of my pal Freya who APPARENTLY writes like not just my favourite writer ever but also top 5 contender for one of my favourite people ever full stop, Chuck Palahniuk!
This has also been a round about plug for the blogs of the aforementioned homies as as also previously mentioned, they’re kinda hilarious (I wouldn’t bother being friends with them otherwise). So add them to your Google Reader and smoke it.
I’m Audi 5K, back soon this time, promz.
By Kirby, on May 7th, 2010
Oooooh we do love a freebie! We especially love a freebie when it’s something we would ACTUALLY buy in the first place so this Nails Inc X Diet Coke promotion has made us slightly giddy. Between now and the 30th of June you, dear consumer, will receive a FREE limited edition bottle of one of the above delightful shades when you buy two 500ml bottles of Diet Coke in any participating Boots store (subject to availability obvs, meaning go, like, now!) Colours available are (from left to right) – ’Paris’ a sexy deep purple, ’Milan’ a fiery Italian red, ’London’ an on-trend nude and ’New York’ a cute fuchsia pink.
And what a brilliant pairing this is, cos you know, Diet Coke is for girls…and girls like to paint their nails…whilst drinking a Diet Coke…and perving on buff topless window cleaners…DUH! Contrary to any cynicism you may be sensing I am actually pretty stoked about this, even though I can’t say I am a regular Diet Coke drinker (team Dr Pepper 4lYfE!!1!), I’d happily down the stuff if it meant spending a few quid on a couple of bottles to get a free £10 nail varnish and ESPECIALLY a Nails Inc one at that as they are most def one of our top 3 favourite polish brands. Well played PR people, well played.
By Kirby, on May 7th, 2010
Are you a marginal or self-taught artist? Have you received a divine calling to depict strange new worlds?Are you an artist with a disability, whose creativity has been undeservedly overlooked? Or a collector with a cache of anonymous doodlings?
If this sounds like you The Museum of Everything cordially invites you to submit a work on paper (or anything small and light) to Exhibition #2, to be held on May 14th, 15th & 16th, 2010, as part of No Soul For Sale at London’s Tate Modern.
 Exhibition #2 is open to all, non-professional, non – traditional, and non-exhibited artists, living or long gone.To enter simply turn up at the Tate Modern with your artwork where it will be assessed by our esteemed Board of Trustees. Successful works will be displayed in The Turbine Hall and published in a book of the exhibition.
REVEAL YOUR CREATIVITY AT THE TATE MODERN & EXHIBIT AT THE MUSEUM OF EVERYTHING.
THE MUSEUM OF EVERYTHING, EXHIBITION #2
WHERE: Tate Modern, Bankside, London, SE1 9TG
WHEN: Friday and Saturday 14th and 15th May, 2010. 10am – midnight Sunday 16th May, 2010. 10am – 6pm
WHAT: For details and guidance: www.musevery.com
TO ASK A QUESTION: everytate@gmail.com
By Kirby, on May 6th, 2010
 Remember those L.A. Lights that were on pretty much every single one of your birthday and Christmas list between 1992 and 1996? (Who am I kidding, I still want them now.) Well with all things 90s currently being a la mode it was only a matter of time before this one came around again. Consider these super cute Nicholas Kirkwood for Rodarte numbers your inner 8-year old’s much coveted L.A. Light’s mama!
Oh just imagine, sexy heels as well as your own personal discofloor with every step! Multitasking footwear, it’s the future.
You may remember Jimmy Choo’s similarly heel-luminated (word patent pending, copyright: me) Zap platform sandals a few months ago causing much of a stir.
We loved the fluoro heel/patent leather combo but for almost £2Gs not gonna lie, we’d be more likely to duct-tape a torch to the back of our Office pumps. Here’s hoping this is a trend the high streets are brave enough to steal try out in the next few seasons because Team Duchess is aaaaaaaaall over it!
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