Alright, I’m gonna be honest with you, I didn’t even like Kate Middleton until last Friday but the minute she stepped out of that Rolls in that MAGNIFICENT McQueen gown, I knew that behind her seemingly frigid exterior she was secretly a bad bitch. And you dun know that at the end of the ceremony when everyone was singing ‘God Save The Queen’ she was making it clap in her head and screaming “I’M THE QUEEEEEEN BIIIIIIIIIITCH!” …well, I would have done, and perhaps that is why I was never optioned as a potential suitor to the second in line to the British throne? Le sigh.

As much as I don’t like her eyebrows (seriously, wtf?!), you simply can not hate on her for nabbing probably the most eligible bachelor of our generation (if he’s good enough for Princess Mia of Genovia then sheeeeeeit). And now that young Kate has been given the title of the Duchess of Cambridge, she’s officially one of us! Yaaaaaaaaaay! Sorry Fergilicious, we are now demoting you as our highest ranking HBIC. Don’t hate! Big girls don’t cry, remember?